Friends plan Japan vacation, demand man pays thousands to help fund acquaintance joining the trip: 'I don't have enough to chip in'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 19, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Should we always be guilted into paying for something just because it's a good cause?

There is no two ways about it; travelling, especially internationally, can be darn expensive. Between the flights, accommodation, and numerous fun activities, going on holiday often ends up burning through more of your disposable income than you expect it to. For anybody on an average or low income, this kind of thing has to be planned carefully to make it work for their finances.

As a result, many wannabe tourists are in the position where footing the bill for anybody else coming with them is simply not an option. No matter how much they may want to help them out, the budget is not going to stretch to that. If it does, and they want to do something nice, then that's great! However, it has to be something that they have thoroughly planned for and are very certain about doing.

Holidaying with friends should be enjoyable, but it can end up causing arguments. A common theme for this is anything to do with finances and who pays for what. It's highly likely that not everybody is coming from the same place with money, and it isn't going to help matters by acting like they are.

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  • A busy street at night in a Japanese city with many lit-up signs
    via Josh Soto

    A busy street at night in a Japanese city with many lit-up signs

     

  • A group of friends was planning the trip of a lifetime to Japan, and they came up with the idea to surprise a friend who was going through a tough time. His mom was very ill, and they wanted to pay for his vacation and the care she would need while he was away.

    One individual in the group had their reservations about this, as they didn't know this guy that well, and their finances were stretched just paying for themselves to join the vacation. When they said that they didn't think they could contribute, their friends told them they would be better off not going.

  • Am I wrong for not wanting to contribute for someone I barely know to go on a group vacation because we share friends?

    So my friend group is planning a vacation to Japan. They want to surprise a long time friend that they knew from college but had to drop out to care for their mom who was diagnosed with early onset dementia.
    via Puzzled-Brick-7485
  • I am fine, but they are asking everyone that is going to chip in and cover everything for them cause they don't really have money like that cause his fulltime job is taking care of his mom. This includes covering for his mother's care.
    via Puzzled-Brick-7485
  • I don't have enough to chip in we are going for three weeks and have been saving a long time for this. When I told them I don't have the means to contribute the same way as they are. They told me it is fine but probably would be best for me to not go then. I told them this is not fair, but they feel since we are all going we should all chip in.
    via Puzzled-Brick-7485
  • This seems messed up, I get they have know this guy far longer than I, but I have never met this person and they want me to spend thousands I don't have to surprise him with a dream vacation? AITA for feeling this is not my problem?
    via Puzzled-Brick-7485
  • The back of a man wearing a cap and a backpack, walking past a Japanese temple
    via bobby hendry

    The back of a man wearing a cap and a backpack, walking past a Japanese temple

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • GreekAmericanDom NTA Your friends all s k. Yes, it's great that they are performing this charity for a friend, but they shouldn't be making unilateral decisions for others nor should they be judgey when people can't afford to be altruistic.
    via GreekAmericanDom
  • ConfusionGloomy NTA. Don't go on the trip with them, they're not your friends. Use that money to go on a solo trip to Japan, somewhere else or bring another friend!
    via ConfusionGloomy
  • allyearswift NTA. You're not invited, your wallet is, as seen by the fact you were disinvited for not wanting to pay for someone you don't know. 'Chipping in' is the price of a meal per week of travel. Not 'thousands'.
    via allyearswift
  • Japan is a wonderful country for travelling solo. Don't go with people who don't appreciate you.
    via allyearswift
  • Fragrant-Hyena9522 You found out they aren't your friends. NTA
    via Fragrant-Hyena9522
  • quats555 NTA. Those folks are very kind and thoughtful for their friend.
    via quats555
  • They are horribly r de to you, however, to volunteer your money for their charity. This feels performative on their part: look how generous we are to provide for our selfless friend! As long as we don't have to pay for all of it, that is!
    via quats555
  • Jerseygirl2468 NTA I would back out of that particular trip because those people are inconsiderate and ridiculous, and not very good friends to you. Save up to go on your own or with someone actually nice.
    via Jerseygirl2468
  • Neat-Ostrich7135 So, if you don't go the rest of them can cover the cost for their friends, but if you go, then they can't cover it without your help? Strange.
    via Neat-Ostrich7135
  • flCheesehead1 Looks like it's time to find a new group of friends and save your money. These aren't friends, they're . NTA
    via flCheesehead1
  • ClassAdventurous4595 I would be very leery of going on any outing with these people. I wouldn't trust them for any reason.
    via ClassAdventurous4595
  • I've been abandoned by people I considered great friends. Being left in a strange city or country would make it much worse.
    via ClassAdventurous4595
  • Excellent_Round_7421 Take the money you saved and take a solo trip. If you cant afford to chip in then you can't afford it. Your "friends" s_k. Don't go on a trip with them. Go on your dream vacation! Solo trip to Japan ftw
    via Excellent_Round_7421
  • strawberry jellos NTA, honestly count your blessings they're showing you who they are now before the trip rather than later (during the trip) and dont go with them, plan a solo vacay for yourself, whether to japan or elsewhere
    via strawberry_jellos

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friends Japan mom money entitled people vacation
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